How does two months of no booze feel like. Actually it’s 64 days to be exact and because every day matters those 4 days are so worth mentioning.

Is it life changing?

Is it easier now?

Let me tell you what it’s been like for me.

Also about the thing that almost made me cave in.

The above leaf doodle seems like an accurate portrayal of my journey thus far.

It’s loopy, up and down but also looser and more relaxed?

The Psychological Part

You know that self doubt. That negativity that lives in your head and pretends like it just wants the best for you?

Makes you analyze and question everything.

Did you say the right thing?

What did ‘they’ really mean by what they said.

Doesn’t matter now because I don’t live there anymore.

That place of questions doesn’t exist for anyone BUT you.

No one cares that much about the minute details of your squirrel mind. They have their own life to get through.

What a load off my shoulders to NOT be operating from the land of what everyone else thinks of me.

These judgy thoughts were always coming from me. No one else said anything.

All the self help books and ‘work’ you do can be sabotaged by …you.

Those thoughts that don’t serve me still come, but now I just let them go. It’s as simple as that.

It’s not healthy, it’s not reality. It’s a weird in between world of what you think others want and what others think. Zero reality.

I made it out.

How Can You Get Out of Your Head

Thinking clearly.

Not dealing with any brain fog or anxiety from the night before.

No weird extrovert, aggressive behaviour to explain.

Repeatedly.

Just you present and accountable for your words and actions. Alcohol free.

This, is when the magic happens. This is how to stop the noise.

Example: Shit goes down (cause that’s life).

A. You rush to the situation and try to do all the things and say all the words immediately. Your monkey mind gives you a ton of options here. You walk away unsure that anything was fixed and if you did enough. Boom your back in that judgy place.

B. Alternatively you walk away and just refuse to deal with it at all. Creating a looming cloud of anxiety that grows darker and heavier the longer you ignore it. Your negative little monster whispers never ending ways how you screwed that up or shoulda coulda woulda.

Both these methods usually lead to having a drink to calm down but end up causing bigger problems and a foreboding of more to come. Nothing was dealt with.

Doesn’t have to be that way.

I’ve found being clear with no alcohol shield to dull or enrage any given situation is EASIER.

That voice with zero impactful statements is silenced.

That reactive knee jerk to either shove it down or fix it immediately (whatever the IT is) doesn’t happen when you are fully present and AF.

I see the IT head on. Like a stand-off. Only I don’t react.

Right away.

I assess. I pause.

We all have the choice to just stop for a minute.

Either there’s a solution and we can try some options or there’s not.

There’s a great book that changed my life and many others. It’s called Untethered Soul.

Here’s a takeaway I use all the time.

Dealing With It

Take a deep breath. Let it out. Lower your shoulders. Let’s begin.

1. Look at the situation.

– Suzy and I got into a fight.

2. How do you feel about this situation.

– I’m sad but I’m also mad.

3. Why do you feel that way.

– I thought we were friends but she’s wrong about this and won’t see any other view on it.

4. Is there anything you can do help it along.

– I’ve tried to reason with her and tell her what happened. But she won’t hear it.

➡️ Yes or No happens here.

You tried to talk to her and she won’t have it. It’s up to her now. If you keep chasing she will never hear you out. Let it marinate. You’ve done what you could.

And then you move through it.

What does this actually mean? You allow yourself to release this for now. I envision this part as walking through fog and coming out to clear skies.

You dealt with the situation.

Done! That’s it. You won’t have that lump in your throat or sense of dread anymore because it’s done.

In the beginning you will actively have to say and go through all those steps.

I actually wrote them out from the book to reference them easily at anytime.

For me now it’s like my mind processes it automatically. On a high level I sense I’m going through the steps and then relief.

In particularly sensitive or difficult situations I go back to the steps.

And then I move through it.

You can still use this while you’re drinking but alcohol has a tendency to add its own layers onto a pre-existing condition.

Having a clear head makes life easier. Problems still arise and life can get messy but everything can be dealt with.

A Smart Guy Once Said…

Life is hard.

Understanding that life is hard makes it less hard cause we know it to be hard.

It’s not a surprise. It’s just the way it is.

This is based loosely on Buddhism. Like a Buddhism for Dummies kind of book.

But this stuck with me.

I’m living a calmer life now that I have a clear head and some tools to help me through stuff.

More Great Perks

DREAMS: I dream a lot now. It must have something to do with sleep quality but wow every night I’m on a new weird journey.

POSITIVE OUTLOOK: Are more good things happening in my life or am I just noticing the things that were always available to me? Potato pahtatoe. Life is piling on the blessings!

SOCIAL: I love to talk to new people. They seem to talk to me more now too. I was never open to that while drinking. Kind of stuck to my known group.

I just read this morning on a newsletter I subscribe to ‘Intelligent Change’ that this is normal.

If you are being present in the moment, the people around you find it easier to connect with you, and, this way, you tend to build more intimate and meaningful relationships. Embodied living also allows you to enjoy your hobbies more and even perform better at work without being cognitively exhausted and burnt out.

– Intelligent Change

People naturally reach out to someone who is present both mind and body.

FRUIT: Never ate fruit before. Now I love it. Very weird but there you go.

MIND/BODY CONNECTION: I have been critical of my body size my whole life. Booze only increased that self loathing. Now I do yoga and meditate and have learned to actually say I love and appreciate my body to my body – no joke. I say the words.

It’s served me well for these 50 odd years and dammit and I need to let it know how great it is 💗

RESPECT: I stand up for myself more now. No longer unsure of my worth.

If I wouldn’t accept bad behaviour from a stranger I certainly won’t allow it from anyone who is supposed to care about me or be in my inner circle. No longer up for debate. Feels good.

The Cravings

In the first month I had a few cravings in week one. Than nothing until this week (8).

Family vacation – kids are all grown. We’re all partying it up in Mexico.

This arrives at the table:

Tequila Shots with a side of fresh sliced oranges sprinkled with cinnamon.

I kind of wanted to try this. It looked fresh and clean and fun!

Everyone took the shot and chased it with a bite of cinnamonny orange 🍊.

Everyone started to sneeze, cough and gag. All at the same time.

Divine intervention?

No more cravings there lol.

I did create a new fancy mock tail adding the cinnamon orange to my cranberry and orange on the rocks. It’s quite fancy!

Heineken 0% is also my go to to when I’m feeling like a beer.

Looking forward to all the 0 beers in Canada when I get back 🇨🇦

Let’s keep the good vibes going.

I am keeping myself busy pursuing all the things that interest me now that I have all this spare time. Learning Spanish, art classes, yoga and working out.

More great news!

I am lucky to have had a few friends express some interest in sober inspiration and support so I am no longer doing it alone – yay friends🙌

Here’s to the next 30 days even though they don’t have a Dry campaign for March.